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This 450 pound black marlin was caught off Cairns, Australia. After about 22 minutes it panicks and goes down deep, where the sharks live. Big mistake. At least we got to keep the Bill! As for the siz
●"Comments have been disabled after the Internet Trolls with no clue as to what game fishing is all about started dropping one liners. Educate yourself before you opinionize kids." Someone's grumpy.
●Either way, the Marlin was probably gonna get eaten...x)
●First a fish & a live shark attack ;0
●the gear ratio on the reel was so fast it pulled the head right off! XD damn i was hoping the shark would at least leave a couple steaks worth of marlin for you but im afraid all you can get is a soup. greedy sharks.
●If i was a marlin on a fishing line, I would just jump on to the boat and take out as many people as I could.
●"After 15 minutes of fighting, the fish nosedives to 60 meters..."..and i'm having seasick already
●Their.
●Its funny how everyone is an expert on sharks and fishing
●I think they were using the marlin as bait cause it looks like they tied the line to his sword and how would they know he weighed 450 pounds when most of its body has been ripped off
●haha
●All fish feel vibrations in the water just saying
●my favourite comment ever
●yeah um fuck that :/ 
●shut up and stop saying ay yeah
●croanky..we got a big one!!!
●seamen
●God damn, I'd be scared to go out there in the ocean. Do you hear that roar of the ocean?
●"Ohh yesss.. Ohh yesss... Oh yesss... Woohoo!!"
●wow How did the shark not get snagged on the line?
●well atleast you got it
●obviously it can drain from the deck...
●awesome...now enjoy your lobotomy and lack of desire to wear shoes.
●So in other words use live marlin to go shark fishing?
●that fucking sucks!
●ouch aint that about a bitch id be pissed as shit

Edited clips showing loads of the corny one-liners used by David Caruso just before the Who song starts on CSI Miami.
●YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
●David Caruso without sunglasses = Superman without a cape. YEEAAAHHH
●Looks like *drops sunglasses* FUCK
●4:06 what you gonna do? ( •_•)>⌐■-■ im going to put my glasses and start the intro for the show (⌐■_■) YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH­­H
●BioWare Employee: Well... ( •_•)>⌐■-■ looks like our most recent blockbuster game... (⌐■_■) had a Mass Effect on our fans YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH­H
●Our victim died with an erection... ( •_•)>⌐■-■ well... (⌐■_■) I guess he died hard. YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHH!
●Our victims eyes are crusted with semen. ( •_•)>⌐■-■ it looks like he.... (⌐■_■) ...saw the killer coming
●We can't identify the body because the fingers were cut off! Well I guess... We're quite stumped! YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH­H!!!!!
●So, Justin Bieber was killed right before his concert. Well looks like the killer... (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) ...was Justin time. YEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
●Where the fuck is Dexter Morgan
●I Love it!!! DangerMan "Save the Children"
●H, Rebecca black was found choked to death on her breakfast, what can you tell from this? ( •_•)>⌐■-■ It looks like she was a little too fond (⌐■_■) of fried eggs YEEEAAAH!!!
●The car skidded off the road and went head first into the bank of harbor. They're ruling it as a homicide as the driver was presumably asleep at the wheel. Well then... ( •_•)>⌐■-■ I guess... (⌐■_■) he's sleeping with the fishes now. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
●I got sunburnt ( •_•)>⌐■-■ Sunburnt? Well I guess the suncream (⌐■_■) Didn't help after all
●We need to e-mail the CBS pictures of Horatio's sunglasses. We want Csi: Miami back!!!
●they're gonna be without H on it.
●The victim was found dead, with an earful of semen. (•_•) Well... ( •_•)>⌐■-■ I guess she... (⌐■_■) Heard him cumming! YEAaaAaaaah!!!
●"Horatio, wanna have lunch?" "Pizza?" "Chinese." YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
●"So we have a person who was living and is now dead." "It looks like... ...there was an extremely unfortunate event." YYYYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
●*find victim in massage parlor* "Apparently, he was smothered in the middle of his 'happy ending'" "So, he went out with a bang- *SUNGLASSES* "-and a wimper." YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
●Sir the labratory just blew up, all the scientist are dead! Well it lookes we're gonna have to..... Barium YYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
●The woman was stabbed with a screwdriver! ( •_•)>⌐■-■ Screwdriver? This case... (⌐■_■) just got a lot more twisted. YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
●(~0_0) yeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh
●Sir, our victim was shocked to death with a electric pole! *Puts sunglasses on* Thats..........shocking YYYYYYYEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Join us on Facebook at on.fb.me and Follow us on twitter at twitter.com One-liner king Jimmy Carr lets us in on the shortest joke in the world - a grand total of four words long.
●wrong
●Well, let's give it a go, shall we? Shortest Joke: Fast Animals, Slow Children.
●shortest joke womans rights
●Shortest Joke: Rap
●Shortest Joke: Tom Cruise
●Shortest Joke? Lil Wayne.
●"venison's dear (deer), isn't it?"
●Shortest Joke? Women's Rights.
●what does he say? i cant make it out - venison deer is.....??
●The most offensive joke and also the shortest: You...
●Shortest Joke? Katie Price
●well... ye... it is a joke... and it is short... i wouldnt say its a good one though....
●velcro- what a rip off !!!!!
●Video: 5 seconds Time for me to compute it: 15
●"MY HOOVER SUCKS"......one word shorter and its my own......woohooo, but yea jimmys funnier
●Women's rights
●Lesbian gymnastics
●Microsoft Word is wrong. By that logic you could shorten the joke to 'Venison's dear innit?'
●microsoft word counts it as one.
●No...it isn't. Dumbass.
●Hm.. so when I say "yes" the raping stops? ;)
●He also did "Dwarf Shortage". What a boss
●Its two words contracted to one word, fail on Akaitsuki85
●I got another one: "Stop rape. Say yes."

LMAO! HOLY SHIT ON A STICK!! Almost 700 000 views! haha better KeNiJoe4eva739? xD This is The Curse of Curves by Cute is What We Aim For off of their first album The Same Old Blood Rush With A New Tou
●High School How I Miss you :D 
●Julius and I love this song so much just so much
●a pick up line.
●What is a one liner? :o
●@AnnielovettGirl thanx lmao jk
●Is it just me, or is he not extremely sexy with that black nail polish? Am I also the only one who LOVES that accent?
●lovee -3
●damn:3 so sexy
●he had me at hello <3
●i love you mason :) thanks for showing me this great song love you mason hone if you see this is not maureen is her friend
●I love this song
●i've got the curse of curves c;
●@hazeleyes465 it must get you so horny
●this is my most favorite song ever
●I love it when he says "touch her touch her" and the way he says curves
●I like how he says the inside lingo had me at hello :3 :p
●i love this song to death littlery i killed the replay button o.o
●it's about a person with curves lol
●ONE LINERS IS REALLY ABOUT YOU BABY CAKES
●is this song about a fat person?
●i love this song 
●Freaking beast mannnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!
●Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
●I miss the old 2000s bands like this.
●Jakewolf's cover is 100x better than this.

Horatio Caine(David Caruso) Cheesy one-liners and corny sun glass compialtion. Will they ever stop!
●At 0:34 he's walking into the water?
●were people not supposed to notice this?  I've never watched any CSI but I knew about this joke. What a load of horse shit this show seems to have been
●Make one with him battling agent smith with one liners
●Lol he has to put the glasses on its the only way to deliver [putting glasses on] ..the message!
●Frank: "The victim was killed by over 20000 volts of electricity." (Horatio puts on the glasses) Horatio: "Shocking." YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
●I can't believe this show got more than one season....
●''Sir we found the dead body of Bruce Willis next to an empty bottle of viagra.'' - Well it looks like.... ( •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) .... he died hard. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH­­HHHHHHHHHHHH
●I came here just for the comments
●two top comments are the same (closely) WTF guys ??
●Sir, the two top comments are the same. Well it looks like were... •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) seeing double YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
●If you try to argue on the internet you are gonna have a bad time
●You steal the comment under yours and get more likes for that. WOW!
●So you're just retarded then? Good to know. Your nonsensical bullshit actually makes sense now, since it's coming from someone who drools on their keyboard.
●figure it out yourself you clueless fuck, go take your so called "grammar skills" and shove it up your ass.
●What exactly does it mean to "spin off [bullshit] on people?" Are you fucking retarded? Or just high all of the time?
●Rebecca Black was found dead at a football game. •_•) I guess... ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) she couldn't pick a seat. YYEEEEAAAHHH!!!!
●I know he killed your family..... •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) But he won't do it again. (Pablo Francisco's joke) not mine.....
●except that is not the point...the point is you are going around shitting on people for bad grammar and punctuation while your sentence structure is suspect in the first place. You are only making yourself look like a jackass, because all the bullshit you're spinning off on people now applies to you as well. you dunce mutherfucker (⌐■_■)
●Fair enough. Good catch on the first "you're" that should have been "your." Although the second "you're" is correct, as is the "can't." They're called contractions. It's pretty sad that while you correct one of my mistakes, you make two more of your own. You're still complete dumbass because you can't even correct me without fucking it up.
●Please support and follow @RescueCSIMiami on Twitter!
●CSI Miami has been cancelled "Well someone at CBS" (puts on sunglasses) "is gonna someday wish they hadn't" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOL
●rip
●Rebecca Black was just found dead in the back of a convertible "Well I guess Rebecca... •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) ...finally picked a fucking seat." YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­­­­­­­­AAAAAAAAH
●I thumbs up'd both top comments.
●Ew x___x

"I Love to Disturb People." Osho -- In a series of excerpts from an interview with Jeff McMullen of Australia's "60 Minutes" Osho offers a series of one-liners about Gandhi, Hitler, the Pope and Mothe
●Who and why?
●but sometimes when challenges r given to ill or injured people they may die completing them. nobody cares for them. society and govt: r only trying to save old, disabled and diseased people, deprived sections only. women r still neglected (even in educated families and work areas/situations).
●i like him n agree with him
●People have no clue. It is almost impossible to put the wordless teaching of the Sage into words. It is almost impossible to communicate "Experience" and "Wisdom" for they are both simply "Experiences".
●Ha,haaaa.He was more crazy than I have thought.
●how did I get here???
●"The more you console them the more retarded they become" = America. Where we work for slave wages, consuming goods made by children in third worlds countries. Running in circles like a tied horse thinking we are making progress in our individual lives. This is not spiritual development, this is not progress, this is madness. Eventually leading to the death of the body from disregard and the death of the mind from not being used.
●ANNOYING ISN'T FUNNY. If it was, we would all be laughing our ass off at the guy driving 55mph in the fast lane during rush hour.
●There's a lot of fakes on you tube, on tv, and in general. This man is not one of them. He Is the truth!
●I love you... please come back..
●This is the dajjal
●"A Buddha is bound to be misunderstood" It's true like Osho says. What kind of intelligence is it that needs to be certified by stupid people? No, their prejudice does more harm to them than anyone else. It encloses them from their own source of life and being. Osho would have felt compassion at such a waste of opportunity.
●guys, when he says "to me, god is a dirty word, a four letter word" he doesn't mean 'four letter word' in regards to the word 'god', he means 'four letter word' in regards to 'a dirty word', i.e. fuck, shit, damn, cunt, etc.
●there are people who know nothing of spirituality ,but they comment as if they have known the secrets of life,i am not saying that they should simply believe everything,how they can say about something without trying or knowing it.they r simply stupid people who have some prejudices,attitudes and they judge everything on their basis,they can't afford a fresh start and thus miss (manytimes) great oppurtunities
●Ahahahahahaahahhaah
●Holy shit! How old is this interview? Jeff is a young bloke. Osho is a fucking legend!!! The most important word - Fuck! (It's not a dirty word anymore bro) Rock on Osho!
●Well, I won't be saying mean things..just to disturb people. To disturb people, Ill probably purposly do odd and weird things but that would probably just weird people out, not disturb them..but anything but saying that someone should be thrown under a bus..now seriously...
●it is not about 'controlling' any motor function. In yoga and in deep meditation one is so aware that one cannot afford to miss a single moment by blinkng - its not exactly voluntary. In yoga this phenonmenon is called 'turiya'
●Interviewer with suit, tie, and NO shoes. Great!
●Does he never blink?
●What he meant by four letter word is not 'god'. He said god is a (four letter) dirty word. I think 'Fuxx' is what he means. I think.
●Only a man like Osho could miscount the amount of letters in the word god and continue on without breaking you're state of enraptured attention.
●he's an inspiration to me :)
●8:20
●it would appear he became what he warned the world about , a salesman who perverted wisdom to his own advantage..

List of films found here: www.pajiba.com For the purposes of the video, all intentionally funny quotes (like Bruce Campbell's Army of Darkness quips, or Chuckys various one-liners) have been left out.
●what about the end to sleepaway camp?! that shit was horrifying!
●1:14 i dont even know son .....i dont even know!
●Its "The Omen" the original 
●i think its april fools, maybe
●Whats the one where the girl hangs her self after saying its all for you??
●00:49
●couldn't match the time up with the movie, which on is 5:56 ?
●2:45 that phone scared me...O.o
●Oh lord, Oh Jesus Christ, Oh my god !!!!!! Lol.
●what was the name of the last film...?
●Yeah it's Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet
●what about the freddy song 1 2 hes coming for you....
●whats 7:40? and is that Dennis Hopper??
●There seems to be a pretty loose definition of "horror" here Jaws and Deliverance?? Even Scream doesnt qualify as horror IMO Alot of these are sci-fi, Drama, or Thrilliers.
●I'm only half way through so far, and am taking a break, cause i have a short attention span... I have one complaint so far.... The Ring doesnt belong in here... that aside its a great compilation, I hope the only good part of "Pumpkinhead" shows up in the second half
●its sad cause all most all of the movies today are retarted and dont make since ... the movies form back in the old days talk about scary and some times nonfictional stuff that can really happen!
●This video came out on my 11th birthday!!
●6:30 creepyest moment in movie history
●/watch?v=Tus5qV1DcWs <---just sayin'
●were gonna need a bigger boat...
●78 people were shaking with so much fear that they accidentally clicked the dislike button
●I've tortured demons not with courage or blessed items but with the lack of fear and the hate of evil. Hate can give you strength as well as creativity.
●Awesome video!! Love love the 80's! Here is a cool article about iconic horror genre actors, check it out! playwithdeathdotcom/horror-vet­erans-heroes-of-the-genre/3726­/
●Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine collection, no negative comment, you missed the Korean Ring, don't care if its not English, utter brilliant
●Nothing like a dam good scare to fright the living fuck out of you..actually its healthy

Here is Stewart Francis with his brilliant one liners, this is him appearing on British television (ITV) on the show for one night only. NOTE: Not all the jokes are from mock the week, there are some
●i fell asleep watching this then i woke up and threw my ipod on the floor
●69 likes lol 
●I really like his laugh after "The Sun" joke! But I love his "swimming back to shore" theme!
●FUCKING LOVE THIS MAN!!!
●i watch this video when i have nothing to do XD
●Saw him a few hours ago, he was fantastic! I laughed so much that I'm still hurting! Great comedian.
●perhaps. 
●His voice is alot like Jim Carrey, and for that I want to have his babies
●seeing him in York next month. Can't wait
●:{
●thanks for wasting my time with that.
●anybody else think he could be liam neesons canadian brother?
●Couldn't have put it better myself, glad you enjoyed the video!
●Just brilliant 
●As Stewart Francis once said, "If you think I steal jokes from people, you can kiss my black ass."
●he is good but the King is Steven Wright
●Harrison Fords long lost brother!
●i forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me
●damn now that one funny ass motherfucker
●He means his dad would throw him in the water. LOL
●It's like a comedian who only tells jokes that are almost funny.
●This was boring
●It's not my cup of tea. But he gets a million points for being clean, clever, and non-offensive in his comedy, which is really way harder than most people think.
●He has a robotic voice... Could it be... german design??
●what a hack

All the sunglasses moments from the great general (sunglasses and non-sunglasses) Caruso / Horatio Caine opening scenes montage originally compiled here: www.youtube.com
●Know Someone Made A You Tube Video Of This
●Lol, such a douche move to make hilarious comments in front of dead people.
●''Horatio Cane used to be an english teacher.'' - I before E.... ( •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) .... Except afeter C. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH­­HHHHHHHHHHHH 
●So great.
●Learn to do horatio's meme dumb newfag, welcome to the internet btw.. you must be new here.
●suck my dick to the tonsils
●Shut the fuck up dumbass.
●i wanna know, how often they had to laugh during cutting the scenes. lol
●Sir, we found 10 dead bodies, and no fingerprints. (•_•)I guess we ( •_•)>⌐■-■ are dealing with a badass over here YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
●Looks like this case *puts on sunglasses* st got the worst case scenario. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHJH
●1:36 no shit.. xD
●A man choked in a hamburger at the local mcdonalds (•_•)i guess it wasn't ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) A happy meal! YEAAAAAAAAAAH
●Bieber was killed before his concert (•_•)i guess she ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Got killed Justin time YEAaaAaaaah
●Sir, Michael Jackson was just found dead... "Looks like he's been hit by...." *puts on sunglasses* "a Smooth Criminal." YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
●Bruce Willis was found dead today, because he overdosed on Viagra. Guess you can say he... died hard. YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
●"Sir it seems like someone has killed a guy who was on a tight rope" "Well it seems" *puts on glasses* "Someone cut the line" YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH
●Robin Gigg from the Bee Gees died today.. ...I guess he had trouble ...Stayin' Alive YYYEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH
●Horatio was the annoying Ginger cop in the first Rambo
●9gag haha
●Thanks. I think i will be posting more
●Haha nice one!
●hahahahhahaha I DIED ON THIS!!!
●YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
●@ofodao14 you just made my day with all these
●"H, he died before he was shot" I guess our victim (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) is dead WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

Why are tampon ads so ridiculous? This one turns out to be... U by Kotex. A New Line of Tampons, Pads and Liners. Break the Cycle. No Apologies!
●um...what?
●"They should make it blue" Family Guy brought me here
●I see what you did there
●As a male I laughed my ass off through this whole commercial. He must've never had a GF before.
●ha lol, funny ending
●One of the most inventive, yet obvious ideas yet. XD
●This commercial is AWESOME! Love watching it!!
●Don't know how i got here, but now that i'm here. Why make light of a condition women have no control over. Grow up! Women have nothing to be ashamed of... Just us!
●For real!
●You're right. :-) They're called patriarchal women and, unfortunately, there's plenty of them buying into the "system."
●I just want to dance dangit!
●So is it playing again, I believe I saw it ...YAY!!!
●This vid I funny!!!
●Stop bring haters!!!!
●U by Kotex really needs to start making like acne commercials cause in everyone they always splash they face in you know that certain way where it looks so perfect. Plus like in proactive the first picture is bad quality and they are not smiling while the after picture is all bright they're happy smiling and the quality is better
●alright...so is there really fighting during a GREAT period commercial...LOL..now THAT'S funny.
●What do you want them to use instead of blue liquid? Blood? Or just not show the product at all like these commercials do?
●Oh, name-calling! How mature!
●You do know it is possible for women to be sexist, right? Just because you're female doesn't mean you're not biased.
●and you started with me first cunt
●im a sexist because im a girl lol
●Umm, you're arguing with me too. So I guess we both don't have have nothing better to do. But whatever, I don't have time for your sexist, regressive, naïve bullshit. Buh-bye!
●why do people feel like they always have to argue with someone because they dont like their opinion? find something better to do
●its my opinion so idgaf what you think 
●blah blah blah